This Hell-Like Vortex I Call My Apartment.
My dad, while not very into religion, ghosts and spirits, definitely believes in vibes and hexes… Although he would never actually say it since he is such a pain in the ass. I have taken bits and pieces of faith regarding the unknown from both my mom and my dad. I believe in ghosts, afterlife, and I also very much believe in vibes, hexes, and “chi.” I say all of this to say… I think this apartment is hexed with bad vibes and I am getting very negative chi energy from it.
There is just something about this place, something beyond my fucked up bathroom plumbing, fritzy refrigerator, and scary wiring, that leaves me tense and very much not “at home.” The endless amounts of cat hair and dirt I clean do nothing then leave me convinced the apartment is still filthy filthy. Mick and I have been fighting more and more often. This place, its just… just not me.. or him. It’s not us, really.
Just when I am convinced that the apartment is cursed and in a year we will be “happy” and content in a new living situation I think back to the past five years. While living at home attending Junior College and working I was adamant that when I went away to school and got an apartment I would be happy. While I was in my apartment, away at school, I was convinced when I returned to Chicago I would be happy. When I was in Chicago, living at home, I just KNEW life would be gravey once I was settled into an apartment in the city with Mick… Here I am… waiting to be happy in a new apartment. Is the apartment hexed giving of bad vibes (duuddde)? Probably not.
Parts of me want a job so I can get a little shanty alla Beezier, AKA a little semi-dumpy studio, where I can park my fat ass with my cats and be happy alone in dating mode…. or at least learn how to be happy alone in dating mode. Sometimes I want to be free. Sometimes I want to not have to consult anyone as to what my future plans are whether it be for this weekend or for the next ten years. Sometimes I want the butterflies back in my stomach and something new to chew on… Sometimes I want to leave my cats with my mom and go live in Germany.
Sometimes… I WISH THIS APARTMENT SIMPLY WAS HEXED WITH BAD VIBES AND NEGATIVE CHI.
There is just something about this place, something beyond my fucked up bathroom plumbing, fritzy refrigerator, and scary wiring, that leaves me tense and very much not “at home.” The endless amounts of cat hair and dirt I clean do nothing then leave me convinced the apartment is still filthy filthy. Mick and I have been fighting more and more often. This place, its just… just not me.. or him. It’s not us, really.
Just when I am convinced that the apartment is cursed and in a year we will be “happy” and content in a new living situation I think back to the past five years. While living at home attending Junior College and working I was adamant that when I went away to school and got an apartment I would be happy. While I was in my apartment, away at school, I was convinced when I returned to Chicago I would be happy. When I was in Chicago, living at home, I just KNEW life would be gravey once I was settled into an apartment in the city with Mick… Here I am… waiting to be happy in a new apartment. Is the apartment hexed giving of bad vibes (duuddde)? Probably not.
Parts of me want a job so I can get a little shanty alla Beezier, AKA a little semi-dumpy studio, where I can park my fat ass with my cats and be happy alone in dating mode…. or at least learn how to be happy alone in dating mode. Sometimes I want to be free. Sometimes I want to not have to consult anyone as to what my future plans are whether it be for this weekend or for the next ten years. Sometimes I want the butterflies back in my stomach and something new to chew on… Sometimes I want to leave my cats with my mom and go live in Germany.
Sometimes… I WISH THIS APARTMENT SIMPLY WAS HEXED WITH BAD VIBES AND NEGATIVE CHI.
im not happy in the shanty either.
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7:39 PM