J. to the Nel. v2.5

- While taking the L to a job fair on the other side of the city I was yet again reminded that I need a camera phone. As I stood on the platform waiting for my silver rocket to come blast be back to the Southside I observed two police officers patrolling the L. Officer number one, who looked freakishly like Don Vito sat on one end of the bench while a soprano looking cop number two sat beside him. They were serving and protecting by gossiping like school girls and talking on their cell phones. It was soooo comforting. Anyway, cop number one’s daughter has a baby out of wedlock and he wants to help her more, but, ya know “she needs to learn responsibility, now.” This story was far funnier in my head. Wanna doughnut?

- Oh. My. God. All I can say is… HOODIE SEASON.

- Just when I started to feel far more comfortable in this shit-hole I call my apartment the bathroom plumbing goes insane again. “Holy shit, a month with no problem! Awesome!” I thought last night as I watched Inked on A&E. This morning I wake up to a bathroom sink full of skunky smelling water… I proceed to use my crappiest set of tweezers to pick an array of nasty shit out of the drain. Go me, the sink is in perfect running order now. Now the toilet is acting like a retard again… JUST FUNCTION DAMN IT! PLEASE, GOD, JUST WORK! I pleaded with it as it did not stop running for like 7 hours.

- Mick just gave me a ring-a-ling on my celly, yo. I was in the middle of dealing with the monster toilet so my early responses to his questions were quick, and annoyed.

Him – Hey
Me – Yea.
Him – Whats up?
Me – NOTHING.
Him – Ummm?
Me – Shut up with you “Umms” - This toilet is a mother-fucker and I am going to break something with it’s lid.

This is when he makes me feel like and asshole for being an asshole.

Him – Yea okay, my grandma called, she is on the way to the hospital with internal bleeding.
Me – Oh.
Him – Yea, she sounded weird, and wanted to call me herself to let me know.
Me – I’m sorry what can I do?
Him – Fix the damn toilet.

So, yea, its have been concluded that I am the biggest asshole in the world with horseshit timing.

I apologize for this lame, stupid post…. I was terrible I know.
Anyway, his grandma is the closest thing I have to a grandma and she is awesome. So, for all you prayers out there, get your bibles out if you don’t mind. Me? I think I will drink tonight… She would appreciate that if she knew.